Gone

My daughter and I were at a Wal-Mart neighborhood market. I was picking through the bananas trying to select the ones that’s not too ripe.  When suddenly out of nowhere she says, “Life is unfair, I have a broken family, why are you divorced.”  I was taken aback and I felt that nudge in my heart again.  I could hear my mind grinding and saying, “I hope it won’t affect you when you grow up, I hope you’ll turn out just fine, I hope you’ll be better than us (my ex and I).” I would do everything to make my daughter happy, even if it means reconciliation with her mother in spite of what she had put me through.  But it’s long overdue.  The era of giving chances and pursuing is over.  Yes, it sounds contradicting to the faith I practice.  I have been criticized that I have become numb and that my heart has been hardened, that I should give her another chance (twice committing infidelity, one I can’t proved).  Another chance?  I have given so much that I’ve lost my self in the process, I have given so much that I was taken advantage,  I have given so much that I was viewed as weak, feeble, powerless, dumb and stupid.  Yet, there’s only one reason why I gave so many-Love! “But you’re a Christian, Christians are supposed to be forgiving and kind all the time.”  Yes, we must […]

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Out of the Ashes

When I found out that my former spouse has betrayed me, as I read the exchanged of text messages.  Sultry, as I would describe it, but that’s putting it lightly.  That very moment, time suddenly froze.  It’s like the essence of life in me have been snuffed out like you would blow a candle.  Gone, just like that and every thing turned into total darkness and the only thing you could smell are the smoke rising from the flame that’s been smothered.  Gone is the light that made me see.  No way out, arms stretched out with my hands and palms trying to grasp for the light.  I couldn’t see a thing.  I stumbled and fell as I try to feel the walls hoping I’ll found a way out.  Alas, she has taken my soul! Season changed and time went by.  I’ve completely lost myself and as I struggled through the darkness, I navigate through my surroundings not by  seeing but by feeling.  Languidly, I start to paint a mental picture of the whole place until I found a door but to my dismay it was shut tight like someone boarded it up and nailed it shut.  I am a prisoner of my own self. Now, I have the knowledge where all the things that would’ve made me tumble.  I know them by heart, but still I am trapped in this place and every breath I take seems like eternity.  […]

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Slippery Slope

Nothing is more painful than someone breaking your heart.  Especially if you’ve been together for so  many years that you wouldn’t even think that something stomach crunching would happen.  You would never dreamed  the idea of betrayal, separation and divorce.  Not once that it ever crossed your mind.  They were no red flags, no signs.  It’s like a flash of […]

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In Your Quest For Love, Do Not Defy God

Love is the most potent catalyst in the world. So puissant that you would defy overwhelming opposition.  It has been the one single entity that breaks boundaries, traditions, culture, stereotypes, religion and nations. Have you heard someone say, “Oh, I’ll never fall in love with that guy” or “I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole.” A soldier got sent to a foreign land with such contempt and disdain towards that country’s people, only to find himself mesmerize by one of their maidens, and lo and behold, he falls in love. A gal  who scoff at online relationships only to find herself embroiled in it because the words she reads on her phone speaks through her soul, pure and unheard of from any of her previous suitors. Two souls who doesn’t share the same faith.  Who were both raised to scorn at each other, that their own way of salvation is the only way.  Given the chance and circumstance, their eyes meet and an ember suddenly start flickering until it turn into a blaze that it consumes both of them, drowning, gasping for breath and the only way they could broach the surface is when they hold hands at those stolen times in their clandestine places. Then there was I, fourteen years of marriage (marrying an unbeliever, now divorced), a result of my defiance to God, saying I know better than Him, I got this I said, shut my […]

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Gratefully Satisfied

This afternoon I spent my time browsing stores to fill a couple Samaritan’s Purse’s shoe box’s which I got from my church. It is the size of a shoe box which you fill it with kid’s goodies. Anything from toys to school supplies to hygiene except consumables.  An assortment of gifts for underprivileged children for the upcoming Christmas season. When […]

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Impress

We all want to look good in the eyes of other people.  There’s a saying “First impression last forever.”  We do it all the time even though we’re not aware of it.  At work, in your church, among your peers or your siblings, your family, social gatherings, meeting people the first time, school and lastly the one that you can’t […]

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Burned Once. Burn Twice?

This past week I was bombarded with friends and co-workers trying to hook me up with a lady that recently started at my work.  “Why don’t you go out with her, she’s single.   We just want you to be happy.”  Then the teasing follows, “Oh you look good together.”  To make it even more interesting, this lady that they’re trying […]

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Faith or Fear?

For reference, read the book of Hebrews 11. Life is full of choices.  With choices comes consequences, both good and bad.  When we make life altering decisions two factors would be dominant to influence the choice we make.  By faith or out of fear.  I know the argument  that God influences people by fear.  If He is such a loving […]

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