A Hampered Life

I was doing house cleaning today, and I noticed that the vacuum wasn’t working properly.  It’s barely doing its job.  I went ahead and just keep ignoring it even though it’s not picking up everything, it was spitting some of it out.  The longer I keep ignoring it, the longer it’s not accomplishing anything.  I just kept going round and […]

Read More →

Four Seasons

This past weekend we had a blast kayaking at my local lake with my daughter.  For the entirety of it, that’s all we did.  I never kayak before and I met some few people asking with amazement and curiosity about my kayak since it’s inflatable.  Now, if I could just find the people that says Kansas is boring.  And I’ll […]

Read More →

My Angst is Answered by God

You’re probably wondering why I’ve been posting a lot of profanities lately. You’re probably asking what’s going on.  Am I backsliding?  Losing faith? I am not here to make excuses nor issue an apology.  I am guilty for posting such things.  I’d like you to know that anything I’ve written in this blog that it’s connected to me, I experienced […]

Read More →

Out of the Ashes

When I found out that my former spouse has betrayed me, as I read the exchanged of text messages.  Sultry, as I would describe it, but that’s putting it lightly.  That very moment, time suddenly froze.  It’s like the essence of life in me have been snuffed out like you would blow a candle.  Gone, just like that and every thing turned into total darkness and the only thing you could smell are the smoke rising from the flame that’s been smothered.  Gone is the light that made me see.  No way out, arms stretched out with my hands and palms trying to grasp for the light.  I couldn’t see a thing.  I stumbled and fell as I try to feel the walls hoping I’ll found a way out.  Alas, she has taken my soul! Season changed and time went by.  I’ve completely lost myself and as I struggled through the darkness, I navigate through my surroundings not by  seeing but by feeling.  Languidly, I start to paint a mental picture of the whole place until I found a door but to my dismay it was shut tight like someone boarded it up and nailed it shut.  I am a prisoner of my own self. Now, I have the knowledge where all the things that would’ve made me tumble.  I know them by heart, but still I am trapped in this place and every breath I take seems like eternity.  […]

Read More →

The Unwitting Victim(s) of Divorce

Most think the one that suffer the most in divorce are couples, but the silent victims are the children.  I remember how my daughter was so confused.  She couldn’t decide who to follow, who to believe or who’s place she’s going to sleep when evening comes.  Every time I looked at her, though she didn’t speak openly I could see […]

Read More →

No Regrets

I’ve always been ask if I have any regrets marrying my former spouse.  Could I have prevented it if I listened to the counsel of my friends and the words of wisdom from my own mother (they were all against it).  I’ve always been told that it was such a waste-fourteen years-and that’s just it.  I do admit they are […]

Read More →

Falling From Grace?

I am compelled to write this as response from a Facebook post regarding children of Christian families who were raised strictly by their parents without explaining them why to follow such rules.  Making them vulnerable especially when they go to college, not only forsaking their faith but also despising it. And what makes a believer backslide. I am not here […]

Read More →

Burning Coals

I love my job, not only because I enjoy doing it though they’re times it could be monotonous and repetitive.  But because it gives me the serenity and solitude looking through that magnifying lens with a piece of a motherboard under it.  Time and time again it is that bench where I sit with one piece of earphone plug into my left ear, and all these conundrum of ideas start swirling in my mind, like a blender mixing it  altogether.  I never knew what will be the end result, it could be bitter, sweet or sour.  The only way to find out is finish it and have a taste of it. This past Friday, I can’t help but think why still the vitriol my former wife has against me, regardless of whose fault is it why our marriage fell apart (I am not here to point fingers and play the blame game).  I do admit I  was angry and hated her with a righteous indignation.  Time goes on and went by, things became better on my part. The anger or hatred is replaced with pity. Wounds never healed but became more tolerable.  I move on and yet she still clings to that venomous lying thing called hatred.  I know that it probably gives her happiness, one way or the other.  But I also know that it’s destroying her from the inside.  What’s more dangerous is it’s subtleness, undetectable like an adder […]

Read More →

Foolish Love

“You know what your problem is?  You are too nice!”  I often hear that more than enough from friends, families and associates especially the time when my  past marriage was on its downward spiral.  Like a plane without a pilot plunging towards the bottom of the sea, or a ship without its skipper running aground and hitting a big rock.  […]

Read More →

Stop Talking About God

Every now and then I’ve been asked why I talk about God too much.  Or to stop talking about God.  Funny thing is it’s not coming from strangers or co-workers but more from a few friends and  families,  even my own daughter would say, “Papa you talk so much about God,” or from friends on social media, “Hey, turn down all that stuff about God.” But how could I stop talking about Him when He’s done so much for me.  How could I stop when  there’s no else there for me yet He is the only one that showed up.  How could I stop when He showed me kindness and grace instead of the punishment I deserve.  How could I stop when I feel His presence enveloping me with peace and comfort while I’m all teared up and heart-broken.  How could I stop when He empowers me with His strength and do the things I was never capable of doing.  How could I stop when He is my light while I was lost in darkness, and in that darkness His hands only I can see saying, “Come and take my hand, I will guide you.” How could I stop when I say I can’t do this and He says, “I have not given you a spirit of fear.”  How could I stop when I say I don’t have much to go on, and He says, “I will provide.”  Lo, and […]

Read More →