Pain To Joy Or Pleasure To Pain
I love nature. What better way to bring them inside your home through house plants. There’s something in them that soothes me. The color, the smell of the soil, especially that upward aroma when you water them. The upright position they take right after watering them, after a while of having them slump in their branches and leaves due to lack of moisture or the changes in temperature and amount of light available. They could put any damp ambiance into a cheerful environment.
Once, I have to take them all out of my room from the window sill since they all start dying due to neglect (I was on vacation). My daughter came in, and she was the one who noticed it first. “Papa, it looks and feels gloomy and dull in your room without the plants, what did you do with them?” I stop and have to disconnect myself from everything and just be in that room. I said, “Yes, you are right. It does feel heavy.” I’ll be honest, for once I thought of not actually putting them back. Nevertheless that very moment I realized they’ve been a part of me. Of my spiritual journey.
My particular kind are anything that grows in low light such (the following are the ones I have) as Pothos, Peace Lily, African Violet, Sansevieria (Snake Plant), Pink Chinese Evergreen and a few cacti.
Throughout these years ever since I got divorced, there’s something I’ve noticed about them. They always tend to go where the light is, not just where the light is but towards the direction where the light is emanating the strongest. And I told myself why is not humanity like this, instead humanity likes to dwell in the darkness, not just the dark but the darkest places (John 3:19-21).
I am not perfect. I am not here to judge. Repentance is a hard thing to do but it is something I want to do and it is everyone must strive to do if you are a believer in Christ. I do it not because to boast, definitely not to compare and not to rack points in Heaven. I do it to testify to the goodness of the God the Father. Nothing more, nothing less.
I’ve mentioned before on my previous post how I struggled with pornography (but not to the point of addiction) and lust. Yes, I was happy for a bit whenever I watch such things but afterwards I was just ridden with guilt. This went on for long time. The biggest spiritual struggle I’ve ever had in my entire life. I admit I gave up fighting it, I had to do it because it’s just too painful to hold yourself back. You just have to give in to it. Let it sweep you. The euphoria and the high that inhibits you albeit only a matter of minutes. Never mind the emotional and worst, spiritual repercussions.
Then came guilt, remorse, read the Bible, prayed, knelled, wept. To no avail, the cycle just keep going until becoming deaf from the groaning of your own spirit, playing deaf so not to listen to God moving. .convicting…
Then after soul searching, I decided to give it up once and for all. I tell you this, it’s not easy. It is painful. Once in a while I still get tempted though it wasn’t like before. Before it has control over me, now I have control over it (by the grace of God). And I realized, though it was so painful to give it up, that turned to joy. I no longer have to be ridden with guilt and shame.
See, the world has only one thing to offer, one that it is very good at. Pleasure! Sexual immorality, illegal drugs, pornography, fornication, adultery, alcohol and (fill whatever your poison is). Nevertheless, all these always lead to destruction. They’ll always lead to pain. You do it because it gives that temporal high. You tolerate it because everyone is doing it. You keep up with it because at the present moment it is the best thing to do. You never think the damaged it has done. Broken hearts, shattered future, and dysfunctional families.
Biblical Christianity thrives in pain, in sacrifice, never in pleasure. Ultimately in the end it’ll end in joy and liberty. I realized, now that I have given up pornography, the pain that I endured and feelings of being sifted emotionally, the joy that comes afterwards. No more guilt, no more doubts, no more nightmares. Here I am all through this time I never thought I could conquer it.
We look upon God as a dictator, as one who just lays down laws, “Do this! Do that or else!” But once you’ve tried and done repenting, you”ll get it from His point of view.
Swallowed by guilt?
Repent and get free!
Guilt that leads to repentance is good. Guilt that leads to depression will wither the soul.
Categories: Lift up your head