I love my job, not only because I enjoy doing it though they’re times it could be monotonous and repetitive. But because it gives me the serenity and solitude looking through that magnifying lens with a piece of a motherboard under it. Time and time again it is that bench where I sit with one piece of earphone plug into my left ear, and all these conundrum of ideas start swirling in my mind, like a blender mixing it altogether. I never knew what will be the end result, it could be bitter, sweet or sour. The only way to find out is finish it and have a taste of it.
This past Friday, I can’t help but think why still the vitriol my former wife has against me, regardless of whose fault is it why our marriage fell apart (I am not here to point fingers and play the blame game). I do admit I was angry and hated her with a righteous indignation. Time goes on and went by, things became better on my part. The anger or hatred is replaced with pity. Wounds never healed but became more tolerable. I move on and yet she still clings to that venomous lying thing called hatred. I know that it probably gives her happiness, one way or the other. But I also know that it’s destroying her from the inside. What’s more dangerous is it’s subtleness, undetectable like an adder perfectly camouflage. You think you are doing yourself a favor. Hating, filling yourself with anger from sunrise to sundown. Knowing that you are destroying the other person, in reality you are being deceived, you’re the one that’s ruining yourself and the beauty of it, you are completely oblivious. The other party could even care less.
So back to where I was at work, sitting. It dawn on me that if you want to destroy (not that I want to destroy anyone, I am not here to destroy but to restore, the devil is doing a fine job doing just that) someone, it’s actually easy-let them hate you with all their mind, body and soul. While you, you just go on with your life not caring about a single thing whatever forms of loathing and resentment is thrown against you.
The Bible and the Christian faith is very big in forgiveness. So big that you would call it insanity. How about loving your enemies and praying for those persecuting you (Matthew 5:44)? How about blessing those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and praying for those who hurt you (Luke 6:27-28)? Yes, it’s hard to do when you do it under the law, it becomes easy when you do it because of the love Christ gives you. What better way to demonstrate God’s love than by loving and continually praying for those who hurt and use you, deceived and taken advantage of you. Weren’t we all used to be enemies of God.
Proverbs 25:22 says that if you love your enemy you will heap burning coals on his or her head. Imagine that description. For a while in my life I’ve been pondering on that and it took me until this time what it actually means.
If you want to stop destroying yourself because of a grudge, animosity, hatred, resentment-let it go! Move on, concentrate on your goals and work and the people who loves you. Everything is to gain for once you’ve set free yourself from the net of bondage that’s consuming your heart and soul.
Cut the cord of hatred and if you fall, do not worry God will catch you, He promise to never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
Lastly, whoever you may be, whatever your past is I will be praying for you.