Burned Once. Burn Twice?

This past week I was bombarded with friends and co-workers trying to hook me up with a lady that recently started at my work.  “Why don’t you go out with her, she’s single.   We just want you to be happy.”  Then the teasing follows, “Oh you look good together.”  To make it even more interesting, this lady that they’re trying to hook me up with is trying to hook me up with her niece, whom she ask me to add her in my Facebook which I did.  I was getting annoyed like somehow there’s an invisible billboard sign hanging on top of my head that says, “Single and lonely.”  It goes on and on being told I should give it another chance.  Or what I am afraid of.  Not all women are the same.  Give love another chance.  This girl is nice.  Do you want to grow old by yourself alone.

I admit, what they said goes through my mind once in a while, but they’re not enough to bother or make me worry.  Besides, I love being single and I dreaded it back then.  I love the freedom it has brought me.  I love the time that I spend by myself because it gives me a lot of time to reflect and what I really want to do with my life, not what I have to do.

Yes, they are times I miss cuddling with someone.  The feeling of having a warmth body next to you, that feeling when you close your eyes at night and opening them the next morning; that moment you open your eyes their face is right there in front of you and that there’s someone right there next to you .  That rush of emotions when you hold hands, stare into each others eye and say “I love you.”  The thoughtful things you do to each other, texting, calling, saying, “I miss you,” “I can’t wait to see you,” “How’s your day going.”  Buying flowers, surprising each other with gifts.  Cooking for each other and just being there for each other.  Going out, watch movies, walk in the trail or go to the park, the mall and the zoo.

burned once, burn twice

But what I dreaded the most is not being alone but to be an unfruitful Christian.  Of all the years of my marriage,  doing things for the kingdom of God suffered greatly.  I wasn’t producing anything as far as advancing the kingdom of God.  Everything of me, my energy and resources was focus on pleasing my partner.  This is due to the fact that she is an unbeliever.  We don’t share the same faith. She is the total opposite of me.  Yet, they say opposites attract.  I know you’re asking, why did I marry an unbeliever in the first place.  It’s one of the things love does to you.  It makes you blind.  A bitter lesson learned in life.

“… An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please Him.  But a married man can’t do that so well.  He has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.  His interests are divided… (1 Corinthians 7:32-34 KJV).”

A friend of mine asked me, “What’s your goal now?”  I replied jokingly, “To stay single.”  Life is full of uncertainties.  If ever God or fate would bring that special someone, one thing I’m sure of is that person should help me grow in faith and draw closer to Him, everything else is secondary.  I can’t afford comprising my faith again and be unfruitful.  I am pushing toward 40, I realize that when the people who I know are dying because of their old age, you are right around the corner.  Reality hits you in the face, that time is short in this world.  I have this freedom now.  A lot of guys would use this freedom to bed as much women, I could choose that too but that’s not who I am.  My identity is found in Christ and sex is a sacred thing, only to be performed within the bounds of marriage.

Whatever remains of my time, all I want now is to advance Christ’s kingdom so that people would gain their freedom and be set free from the claws of sin and from the things of this world that made them blind.

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