I’m Divorce So I’m Hopeless and Unhappy?


Ever since I got divorce I’ve always been ask if I already found a girlfriend.  Both off and on work even on social media. Sometimes I get tired of hearing it and I do understand what my friends and family are doing for me and I appreciate that they care about my happiness.

For those who is going through divorce and just got divorce.  There’s hope for you.  I don’t have a magic pill that I could give you to take the pain away.  Neither a time machine for you to go back in time so that you could change things.  Nor a helmet you could put on your head so that you could wipe those memories that are too painful to bear.  What I do have is my own experience and by sharing it, I hope that it would encourage you because I’ve been there too.

Take your time grieving, do not rush it.  Never ever get into relationships – not until you’re fully healed and if you insist, I’ll tell you this it’ll be your first biggest mistake. What you’re doing is finding someone to fill that void and emptiness which makes you very vulnerable and some people will take advantage of that leaving you hurt again. If you have to cry, cry your heart out, it applies to men as well, there’s no shame to that.  It proves that your human as everyone else.  Do not rush the healing process, let time takes it course.  Control your thoughts, another very important process.  Limit your social media usage.  Do things and read things that encourage you.  Avoid watching love stories or reading romance novels.  Spend as much time with nature and the outdoors if possible alone, close your eyes and feel the wind.  Hear the birds sing and let the warmth of the sun glaze you’re face (that’s your Creator reminding you that He’s there and cares for you.)  Read the book of Psalms and Proverbs, if you’re not a Christian so what?  Read it anyway, what you’ve got to lose?

There’s always a light in the end of the tunnel.  No matter how long or short that tunnel is, for you to see the light you’ve got to keep walking. Otherwise if you stop you’ll get stuck in the cold dark of brokenness, and breathing that musky smell of desperation.  All you’ve got to do is keep walking, keep feeling the walls and follow that warmth breeze of air.  Because that tiny speck of air you’re feeling will eventually lead to the light.  We all know what it means when there is a light – freedom!!

There’s always calm after the storm.  If you ask me how am I doing now, I’d say never been better.  Yes, I was broken but out of that brokenness, a lot of good things came out too.  A lot of things I realize about myself and my relationship with God, it drew me closer to Him than I’ve ever had in my entire life.  I am like a device that’s having a lot of problems and then the One (God Himself) who made me listened to all the complains that is using this device, reengineered it and made it way better resulting to new entirely different creation.  For that I am grateful to Him.

I don’t understand why some individual complain about being single.  It’s not actually bad at all.  I’m actually enjoying it.  The only thing that bother me is the longer I am single the more I’m less interested getting into relationship.

Don’t lose hope.  Cry if you must.  Take the pain, accept it but dare not stop walking!!

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